This is my story and it might not be perfect or finished yet, but for those who are going through the same thing I have experienced, just not that your feelings are 100% valid, you matter, and you are loved, and just know that it’s okay to not be okay, and most importantly at the end of the day, you are human and that should come before any sport.

I remember feeling the first initial pain in group lift and thinking I had just been sore from previous lift and fall ball practice at the beginning of the week. I tried to keep going on as normal but I knew something was up when I could barely goblet squat a 15lb dumbbell and pain shot down my legs and lower back. One of my teammates just told me to take it easy for the rest of the lift and reevaluate at practice later that night. The whole day I couldn’t get comfortable sitting, standing, or even lying down; the pain would just radiate constantly. But I just decided to take some Advil, ice up, and stretch just so I could make it through the 30 minutes of fall ball practice we had since I had to leave early for a class. That night at practice, the pain just kept getting worse.

There is a stigma with student-athletes and mental health. Many athletes don’t get help when there is a problem. There is a fear of being considered “weak” or the belief that coaches might think something of it or even teammates. There is also pressure of not only being physically strong, but being “mentally strong” that sets high expectations on athletes and prevents them from getting the help they need. The amount of student-athletes who die by suicide and the ¼ of students experienceing depression needs to change. This is why I wanted to share my story.

By Neeti Ved