Since returning to school in February 2025, my focus has shifted to my academic career and my businesses. As spring approaches, I’m hopeful my body will be strong enough to wash cars everyday again, relishing the warmth of the sun on my back again. As the college lacrosse emails sit in my inbox, a big part of me is still torn. There’s a lingering grief over the end of my athletic career, mourning the person I once was and the version of myself I could have become. At times, a wave of sorrow washes over me, accompanied by a sense of defeat, knowing that the younger version of me would be disappointed that I didn’t play DI lacrosse.

Lastly, from the bottom of my heart, I beg you that as a fellow human being, you can feel the pain behind my words and understand the power that your position holds. The power to normalize mental wellness, productive programs, and coaching programming nationwide. The power to take away so much avoidable pain for the student-athlete to allow them to live the life they’ve worked so hard to build. And the power to make lasting change so that when the student-athletes are thrown into the water, they can just have a life vest. 

After everything happened, I began to gain a new perspective on not only my mental health, but other people's as well. I began to talk about my struggles out loud and not be ashamed to say I am not perfect and it is something I deal with. I am not cured, but in my mind, I am learning how to handle things the right way.

There are many questions I’ve heard frequently in my life as an athlete. However, there’s always one question that I hear that leaves people confused when it isn’t answered the way they expected. The question? “You must have a lot figured out! I mean, you’re a Division 1 athlete, that’s enough in itself. There are kids that would kill to be in your position.” The answer? Truthfully, I don’t have it all figured out. I wish I did. However, I have a lot more figured out than I did growing up as an athlete.

In conclusion, mental health in the dance community is a vital conversation that needs to be ongoing. By acknowledging the challenges we face and supporting one another, we can foster a healthier environment for all dancers. Let’s continue to advocate for mental health awareness and create a community where everyone feels empowered to express themselves, both through dance and in their personal lives.

My name is Haley Kammann. I have played golf since middle school and I play golf at Ohio Wesleyan University. Mental health has always been very important to me whether with my academics or athletics. I was adopted at birth. My biological mother has a learning disability and has struggled with her mental health for years.

Growing up with talented athletes as siblings created a mold I felt I had to fit into. It felt like I had to be a mirror and reflect them in anything I did. When in the same space that your siblings found success in, it’s hard to have your own accomplishments. I learned to find the place where my sisters have no shadow for me to be under.

My journey into being an athlete started around the age of 6 years old. I primarily played basketball, but other sports were introduced along the way as well. My high school years included 4 years of basketball, 2 years of track, and 2 years of golf. But I knew basketball was the main sport I loved, while track and field was the sport I was best at! My senior year of high school, I was excited and looking forward to having a great senior season and then into basketball season I ended up needing surgery that sidelined me for 6 weeks. All I could think about during this time was, “Why me and why now?” During that time I was also exploring my college options as far as playing basketball in college and I was pretty set on where I wanted to go. I had such a drive to finish my basketball career in college.

In the world of lacrosse, the eight-meter mark is a critical zone where intense competition develops. This is where attackers try to score, defenders do everything in their power to stop the ball from going in, and the goalie is trying to stop incoming shots. That half-circle can cause intense stress or relief for a lacrosse player, depending on their role and responsibility. Just as defenders “crash” to stop scoring attempts, similarities can be made to the emotional turmoil of a mental breakdown outside of the white lines of the field. Having experienced the roles of defender, attacker, and goalie within the 8 meters, I have encountered intense pressure and resilience both on and off the lacrosse field. I've crashed inside and outside those white lines.