After everything happened, I began to gain a new perspective on not only my mental health, but other people's as well. I began to talk about my struggles out loud and not be ashamed to say I am not perfect and it is something I deal with. I am not cured, but in my mind, I am learning how to handle things the right way.

My name is Haley Kammann. I have played golf since middle school and I play golf at Ohio Wesleyan University. Mental health has always been very important to me whether with my academics or athletics. I was adopted at birth. My biological mother has a learning disability and has struggled with her mental health for years.

Growing up with talented athletes as siblings created a mold I felt I had to fit into. It felt like I had to be a mirror and reflect them in anything I did. When in the same space that your siblings found success in, it’s hard to have your own accomplishments. I learned to find the place where my sisters have no shadow for me to be under.

My journey into being an athlete started around the age of 6 years old. I primarily played basketball, but other sports were introduced along the way as well. My high school years included 4 years of basketball, 2 years of track, and 2 years of golf. But I knew basketball was the main sport I loved, while track and field was the sport I was best at! My senior year of high school, I was excited and looking forward to having a great senior season and then into basketball season I ended up needing surgery that sidelined me for 6 weeks. All I could think about during this time was, “Why me and why now?” During that time I was also exploring my college options as far as playing basketball in college and I was pretty set on where I wanted to go. I had such a drive to finish my basketball career in college.

In the world of lacrosse, the eight-meter mark is a critical zone where intense competition develops. This is where attackers try to score, defenders do everything in their power to stop the ball from going in, and the goalie is trying to stop incoming shots. That half-circle can cause intense stress or relief for a lacrosse player, depending on their role and responsibility. Just as defenders “crash” to stop scoring attempts, similarities can be made to the emotional turmoil of a mental breakdown outside of the white lines of the field. Having experienced the roles of defender, attacker, and goalie within the 8 meters, I have encountered intense pressure and resilience both on and off the lacrosse field. I've crashed inside and outside those white lines.

Ever since I was young, my life always centered around athletics. Growing up, I played multiple sports year-round, which led to playing lacrosse and volleyball in high school. I picked up a lacrosse stick for the first time in 6th grade, not really thinking anything of it, but I quickly discovered the passion that I had for the game. Going into high school, I knew I wanted to play a sport in college, but I wasn’t sure which one. After my freshman year, I was set on playing lacrosse in college. There was something special about the game that I just loved and couldn’t get enough of. My junior year of high school, I committed to play Division 2 lacrosse at Slippery Rock University. This had been my goal, and I finally reached it. I was so excited to attend SRU and to play the sport that I love at the next level and be in a new environment. Flash forward to August 2020.