Never Alone

By Ava Vigliotti | IG: @avavig_ | TW: mentions of suicide

I have always struggled with my mental health and suicidal ideations since I was 14 years old. But I never thought I was allowed to talk about my mental health. No one knew I was struggling or what happened because I was ashamed about feeling the way I felt. As I continued in sports, I began to base my worth on my performance which led me down a bad path. I was struggling with what I now know is not only depression, but also undiagnosed BPD (borderline personality disorder). I had never even heard of BPD and I was not getting treatment until this year. I have been in many places with my mental health at many given times and I have attempted to take my life. After everything happened, I began to gain a new perspective on not only my mental health, but other people’s as well.  I began to talk about my struggles out loud and not be ashamed to say I am not perfect and it is something I deal with. I am not cured, but in my mind, I am learning how to handle things the right way. Being an injured athlete and watching from the sidelines is a whole new set of challenges. I had surgery on my ankle as well as a broken arm and ribs that had to heal so it was a long recovery process. Some days were harder than others watching from the sidelines, but with the support of many of my teammates, my AT, and my mom I am working on my mental health in a good way this time so I can create a life worth living. Morgan's Message means a lot to me and I want to share my story because no one should struggle in silence. I am very passionate about this topic so no one else has to go through what Morgan did or what I have gone through. We need to be able to say I am an athlete and I struggle because I am also a person. I would love to see many young athletes, men or women, start talking about their mental health more and destigmatizing the topic. I know many of my teammates and other people besides myself that have gone through a tough time and have not known how to speak up for themselves, or even how to start. I believe that as challenging as it may be, we need to help young athletes who may be struggling with their mental health to choose life because sometimes choosing life and recovery is the bravest and strongest thing you could ever do.