THE MENTAL MATCHUP™ PODCAST: STORIES
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Please note, these stories are written by our authors and are based on their experiences. All photos used have been sent to us with permission to use by the authors. We take every step to ensure anonymity under certain circumstances to protect institutions, teammates, coaches, etc.
A Brave Break
I never really had difficulty with my mental health until I went to college. I was always happy. During freshman year, my struggles really started. I felt unmotivated to go to class, practice, and everything else. I masked it by hanging out with friends and pretending like everything was okay because if I faked it, I would make it. I was told I should fake it till I make it.
It's Okay to Not Be Okay
I am sharing this because there is another epidemic happening, not just within athletics, but everywhere. I know that I am not alone in this. As a former DI athlete, we are expected to push through the pain, to be “happy” with the life we have been given, and to be viewed as someone who has everything going for them. I can barely recall or remember my last two years of playing because of how numb I was. I let the pain in my life define me and the life I was living.
I hated the identity of a basketball player
I so much hated being identified as a basketball player. I hated it and loved it, a combo that just stirred havoc in my body. To be recognized as one, and an elite one, still gives me a tightness in my chest and a punch to my gut just thinking about it. Yet I desperately relied on it. I am so much more than a basketball player. I am a full, well rounded, human. I loved walking in the wilderness, or anywhere outside of a basketball environment, or meeting people that knew nothing about sports. Those people became my best friends. The ones who asked me in January if my season started yet.
Why professional basketball was never for me
I was obsessed. At age 10 I woke up before school started to shoot hoops on the playground. And then would shoot for hours after school in the driveway because it brought me happiness, it was my outlet, my alone time. To get in the flow practicing was bliss.
Life’s Too Short
Something my mom would always say to us growing up is “life’s too short”. I never understood the true meaning of that phrase until I started college.
Still I Rise
Post-traumatic stress disorder in athletics is something you virtually never hear about as there is a huge stigma with mental health as it associates the athlete with being weak or not being able to do the job they are supposed to do. This stigma allowed me to suffer in silence for three years without receiving help. At this time I had never felt more alone with no one to relate to. As today is the start of mental health awareness month I wanted to shine a light on PTSD in athletics by sharing my story.
The Dangers of Expectations
Growing up, I wasn’t in the best physical shape throughout middle school and I still feel like I’m not in the best shape now. I started playing lacrosse around 5th grade because my parents decided it would be great for me to start making friends due to my social anxiety, but I would constantly feel like passing out after running a lap and would always be the last one to finish a team run or never finish at all. I thought lacrosse would help me stay in better shape and meet new friends, but my own experience with lacrosse has negatively impacted me more than what I had expected.
