It's Okay to Not Be Okay

By: Delaney Snyder

It’s time to share my story. 

I am a survivor. 

Over a year ago, I tried to end my life. I didn’t see anything but a life full of pain. I was living in constant shame of this pain. I didn’t see an end to it, I didn’t want to keep living in it & my only hope was in taking my own life. 

I am sharing this because there is another epidemic happening, not just within athletics, but everywhere. I know that I am not alone in this. As a former DI athlete, we are expected to push through the pain, to be “happy” with the life we have been given, and to be viewed as someone who has everything going for them. I can barely recall or remember my last two years of playing because of how numb I was. I let the pain in my life define me and the life I was living. 

I am here and alive to tell you that it is okay to struggle— it is okay to not be okay. But, it is not okay to stay there. There are so many people who want to help. There are so many people who see you as the human you are — not the athlete, not the goal-scorer, nor the student. We are human beings & we are loved beyond what we can comprehend. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it shows your strength. I always thought, “What will others think of me?” “Delaney Snyder isn’t supposed to need help. She can do it on her own.”  That was and always will be a lie. Y’all it took me YEARS to accept that. I need help every single day of my life — and that is okay.

If you have breath in your lungs, you have a purpose. God is not done with you yet. He loves you so much. Jesus died to meet us right where our pain is and to be the only true medicine we need. Give it to him. From the ashes, He makes beautiful things. I know this because He did it in my life. I was dead, now I am Alive. 

I am not sharing this because I have it all figured out, but to show that I don’t have it together, my life will never be perfect, and I still go through pain every single day. But that is still okay.

One year ago, I got help — and now, I am one year sober. All the glory belongs to our redeeming God. 

I still get knocked down every day. But the difference now is that’s not where I stay. I love you and I see you.