I have a special place in my heart for athletes who are struggling with an eating disorder.  My message to you is use the same mindset that helped you achieve athletic success to defeat  “ED”.  

When most think back to their childhood, they reminisce about the playdates they had or the toys and books they got. Although I was blessed enough to get all of those things, thanks to my amazing family, I had a little bit of a twist to my childhood. When I was younger, I lost my older sister Maeve to a cardiac arrest. She was playing soccer in our town surrounded by family and friends when she passed. To say it rocked my family's world is an understatement. When you are a child, most don’t have a worry in the world but for me this feeling of empty, loss, and grief lingered but due to my age, I was unable to process it. Years later, I watched my family cope in more ways than one. From putting balloons up on her birthday, to having a mass on her anniversary, my family found little ways to come together as a family and keep her memories alive.

I met with so many doctors who tried to figure out what was wrong with me. We didn’t have a mental health specialist for our athletic department. I couldn’t explain what was wrong with me. I couldn’t point to the pain. I didn’t mention the flashing lights I would see when I closed my eyes at night. Or the ringing in my ears that made me feel like my brain was literally buzzing from moving so fast. I didn’t want them to think I was “crazy.”

I'm still working on ways to not feel just as invisible, but it's hard. All mental health journeys are. They aren't going to be a linear path that you can just walk along and end up at the pot of gold. There are ways to help cope, therapy, medications, having good friends, and honestly even dark humor. These all keep me going.

I want to use social media to share with the world how important it is to imply the golden rule on yourself as much as you do onto other people. It is not stressed enough how important it is to take care of ourselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally. We have this stigma around mental health that we are finally working towards normalizing by us athletes standing up and advocating for change, normalizing getting help, and supporting each other through our battles.