The Golden Rule

By Courtney Solensky | IG: @courtneysolen

Everyone knows the golden rule: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” We were all taught this at a very young age and it was expected of us to implement this rule into our daily lives. I continue to live by this and treat everyone I come in contact with the utmost respect they deserve, as that is how I would want others to treat me, right? Somewhere along the way, I forgot to do this to myself. It took me hitting rock bottom to realize that I was not treating myself the way I was treating others, or how I would want them to treat me. 

I have struggled with my mental health for years, as it has slowly gotten worse over time. I have always masked my emotions and never validated them, always putting them on the backburner. I would continue to live each day, being “mentally tough” and unknowingly adding fuel to the fire. As an athlete, I have always been told to be mentally tough, which is important to be at the top of your game, but what happens when all you are is “tough”? 

I grew up in different environments where you had to be “tough” all the time and it was not an option not to be. Showing emotions was a sign of weakness and seen as unnecessary. With this mindset, I lost control of myself. I sheltered myself and my emotions, never talking about my feelings or what issues I had going on in my life. Over time, I developed horrible mental health struggles including anxiety and depressive episodes and an eating disorder. 

Back in March, during NEDA week, I decided to share part of my story in hopes of making a difference in others lives. I knew I was not alone, as I was seeing others share their stories as well as too many news headlines of athletes (and non athletes) passing away from their own battles. They all deeply inspired me to begin my journey as an advocate for something that's affecting so many people, including myself. 

I want to use social media to share with the world how important it is to imply the golden rule on yourself as much as you do onto other people. It is not stressed enough how important it is to take care of ourselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally. We have this stigma around mental health that we are finally working towards normalizing by us athletes standing up and advocating for change, normalizing getting help, and supporting each other through our battles. 

It is so important to prioritize taking care of your mind. Learning (or relearning) how to love yourself and validating your emotions, taking in each and every one, accepting that you are not going to be the happiest person on earth every single day. Reach out for help and speak up about what you are facing. For years I kept everything inside and to myself, battling all my problems solo and overflowing my cup. Once I finally realized that I was not okay and began my recovery journey, is when my life changed for the better. I am now patient with myself when I am having a bad mental health or eating day and understand that I am not going to be perfect everyday, it's a part of healing and it is okay. 

I aspire to change the world of collegiate athletics. I want to teach athletes that you are a human being first and you need to prioritize your well being over anything else. Go about each day treating yourself how you would want others to treat you, not thinking or treating any less of yourself. Our lives are so high strung, trying to be at “the top of our game” and “mentally tough” in every aspect of our lives, whether it's our literal game, our academics, or our social lives. We cannot achieve what we are working for with a broken mind. I am learning how to heal while I work towards my dreams as a student athlete and person. I have so many dreams to help others with stories like mine, and this is just the beginning.