Falling Into Place

By: Kylie DonBullian

IG: @kyliedonbullian

My name is Kylie DonBullian. I am a sophomore at Stevenson University and I play Women’s Soccer. I am a Morgan’s Message Ambassador and wanted to share my story.

In 2019, my junior year of high school, my life as an athlete completely changed. I was forced to face the ultimate fear of tearing my ACL. Junior year, as we all know, is extremely hectic, taxing, and overwhelming. Junior year is when everyone starts getting recruited or committed for sports. Unfortunately for me, I was set back.

The feeling of watching all of my teammates and close friends chase their dreams of becoming a college athlete was so exciting yet very painful. I never thought I would get to that point. I kept thinking, “ 14 years of soccer thrown away,” when in reality my journey was just getting started.

I have always struggled with mental health, it is not something I am afraid to admit, but this was rough. I began giving up on physical therapy, recruiting, and school work. My grades were slipping, my attitude was very negative and I just didn’t even want to try to get through my recovery. The day I started physical therapy, I saw a quote that said, “You can have your shit together and then something happens that will knock you off your course. This does not invalidate your progress. Sometimes you need to fall in order for a new, better you to emerge. At any time you can recommit to your growth.” This quote motivated me to never give up and to keep pushing when things get hard. Everything happens for a reason.

Ten very intimidating and anxiety-filled months later, I played my first game of soccer again. That rush of adrenaline just sent me over the edge. I felt like I was running faster, thinking smarter, and playing harder. My confidence thrived to a level that I had never experienced before. I was on such a high that nothing could drag me down.

While in recovery, I decided to email some coaches about my possibly committing. I didn’t think anything would come from it, but I was really, really wrong.

Here I am, 3 years later, playing collegiate soccer with the best teammates, coaches, staff and support system. If you would’ve asked me while I was in recovery that I’d be where I am today, I would tell you that is a bold faced lie. That feeling of sadness, anger, and misery dragged me into a hole I never want to go back into. Those feelings motivated me to work harder, do better, and really push myself. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Always.