I Am Proud of Myself

By Ava Thomas | IG: @avathomas1006

I started playing hockey when I was just a toddler. I lived in a small town, so very few girls played hockey like me. Hockey quickly became a part of me. I played all throughout the year having multiple games and practices every week. All through elementary school I played on one club team, but sadly at the end of 6th grade I got the news that I made the lowest team when all my friends moved up. Heartbroken little me didn't know what to do. I finally made the decision to try a whole new team with new coaches and new teammates. I started that hockey season in the beginning of 7th grade and did really well for a while, until I wasn’t. I started struggling in school and began having panic attacks before every practice. At the end of January in 2021 I was fully out of school. My parents and I didn't know what was happening. I told all my friends that I was just doing online school, because I didn’t know what they were going to think of me if I told them the truth. I was finally able to get the help I needed. It took a lot of work, but I was able to start my 8th grade year back in school again. I then began playing soccer with all my friends, but I knew I still wanted to play hockey again. I was scared the panic attacks were going to come back, but I was able to stay strong and play my freshman year of high school. I am finally able to say that I am proud of myself. I am proud of the person I have become. I am proud of the amount of love I give and share. I am proud of my life and the way I am healing. I am proud that I get to say that I survived and now I can live my life how I choose to.