For Ava

By Anna Curtin | IG: @annaaccurtin | TW: suicide and suicidal ideation

As a student-athlete and teenager, I have experienced mental health challenges. I never took my mental health seriously until last year. In my junior year of high school, I started ok. That summer I reconnected with a therapist and was put on antidepressants. I was enjoying school, sports, my friends, my family; everything was perfect. In late December, I had a relationship end that was abrupt and heartbreaking for me. During that period of time, I felt no support from family or friends, just criticism. On top of this, I was carrying a rigorous course load, trying to get recruited for soccer, and dealing with the underlying depression and anxiety. As a result, I was hospitalized for suicidal ideations. I then was "treated" at a CBAT unit, a facility where around 7 to 10 kids are placed to learn coping skills and be evaluated to determine if they are safe to return home. After that, I went back to school for a little bit. I still struggled immensely when I left the CBAT unit. I attempted suicide weeks later. I went through the whole hospital and psychiatric ward process. After this period, I started new meds and a new therapist three times a week. I progressed as the spring came along, but suddenly regressed after a tragic event. On May 30th, 2023, my friend and soccer teammate Ava Patete died by suicide. Her death was devasting. Her passing hit close to home for me. I did not know she was struggling and had experienced similar things that I had gone through. I was struggling to find ways to cope and progress after this event. That's when I found out about Morgan's Message. I knew I wanted to do something in honor of Ava, myself, and those who struggle in silence. On top of that, my school did not have anything like this already, so it was a great opportunity to introduce something new to my community. After I took this on, I received praise and support from adults and kids alike. I got to know people more because they felt comfortable talking to me about mental health and their own struggles. While I still struggle with my mental health, I learned several things through these events: everything is temporary, strive for progress not perfection, and helping others can help you.