Reflect, Redirect, Refocus
By Avery Greenberg | IG: averygreenberg_
“Are you falling out of love with your sport?”
This question has ultimately led to multiple turning points throughout my life that have shaped the evolution of my character and the values which I hold tightly to today. My earliest memory of falling in love with a sport was when I was around 4 years old in gymnastics. I loved being able to compete in multiple events and constantly learning new skills and routines, I loved having a close-knit team that felt like a bunch of sisters, and I especially loved being able to show my elementary peers how long I could handstand. It wasn’t until years later that I first started to feel that going to practices and competitions didn’t make me feel as confident and fulfilled as they once did. I felt immense pressure to please my coaches and perform at the level which I was expected to. I no longer had the same motivation and drive to achieve my goals as the pressure I put on myself grew. Whenever I was asked if I would rather quit, I immediately reacted with frustration and defensiveness. Subconsciously, I was afraid of failure and afraid people would think that I didn’t have the effort and determination it takes to continue in the sport. After lots of talk with both my parents, coaches and teammates, I came to the realization that there was an unhealthy balance between negative experiences and positive. As much of a difficult decision it was to leave the sport I dedicated my childhood to, I knew I needed to stand up for myself and put myself first.
After trying a variety of different sports, some of which I lasted two weeks with, I finally found one that brought me back to the initial feeling of excitement I felt when first starting gymnastics: rowing. I loved the thrill of racing opponents head to head, I loved being able to spend an average after-school afternoon in the middle of a lake, and I loved the amount of concentration required, which created a space for my anxious thoughts to dissipate. It wasn’t until years later that I started to develop familiar feelings of leaving practice upset and putting an unnecessary amount of pressure on myself to perform in hopes of gaining recognition and validation from my coaches. I hated the fact that while I loved to row, I couldn’t just be proud of myself and feel that the effort I was dedicating to my sport was sufficient. When I decided to step away from rowing, I realized that I never fell out of love with the sport, but I was letting the unhealthy pressure I put on myself take away from the positive experiences I had. Similarly, with gymnastics, the pressure I put on myself to perform and reach the unrealistic expectations I set led me to placing my identity in my sport, which only resulted in disappointment and a lack of confidence.
The pressure that we put on ourselves to always perform perfectly and to impress others and our coaches significantly affects our performance and self-esteem. Directing our thoughts and obsessing over what other people think about our own personal performance in the end only takes away from our true potential to improve ourselves. While a healthy amount of pressure is necessary to push ourselves to become better athletes, it is important to recognize when this pressure starts to take an unhealthy toll on our mentality. What I hope someone takes away from this story is that you cannot grow without going through challenging experiences first. If it hadn't been for these experiences, I wouldn't have realized that a change was needed to make myself a better athlete and advocate for myself.
I later joined my school's lacrosse team and promised myself that I would stop seeking external validation and start recognizing my own improvements and accomplishments. In the end, I realized my toughest competition has and will continue to be myself. Stepping back and reflecting on what I need to change, redirecting my mindset, and refocusing on becoming the best version of myself both athletically and personally has improved my performance, but most importantly, my confidence and joy in sports. I am so grateful that my lacrosse teammates and coach encourage an environment where we motivate and push each other to become better both athletically and personally. As team captain and a Morgan’s Message ambassador on my campus, I hope to encourage student athletes to develop a healthy relationship with their sports and continue to fall in love with it.
